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Denglish 57: A German Method for Stress Management

My wife and I have been through some stressful times. We’ve experienced the logistical nightmares of a long-distance relationship and the heart-wrenching uncertainties of being an international couple...

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Denglish 58: My German Wife and the Freakishly Unsettling Way She Eats Bananas

There are a variety of methods for banana consumption. You can bite off a chunk, chew it and swallow it. You can cut the banana into slices and use a fork to place them in your mouth. Hell, you can …...

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Denglish 59: Are All German Women Freakishly Strong?

Like many young, amorous couples, my wife and I engage in the occasional tickle fight. You know — a bit of the ol’ “Slap and Tickle” — though, as a German-American couple, we most often refer to these...

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Denglish 60: Why I Cringe When a German Wins a Fight

The Wife and I got into some kind of argument back in February of 2011. I can’t even remember what it was about, but I know it was relatively minor, with only the slightest bit of temper flaring...

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Denglish 61: The German Weighs In On American Desserts

Portland, Oregon is a haven for food enthusiasts,  affectionately known as “foodies.” (I kind of hate that word, but I used it for you anyway, Dear Reader, because I would bleed for you.) And for...

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Denglish 62: My German Wife Fails a Quiz on Reproductive Anatomy

As you may already be aware from our post Denglish 55: My German Wife Recommends a Swift Cleansing of the Genitals, my wife is sometimes unclear on the English words for human genitalia and how...

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Denglish 63: My German Wife Explains American Underwear

I’ll be real honest with you, Dear Reader… I hate shopping. It doesn’t matter what I’m shopping for — it could even be for something I like and genuinely want to purchase — it’s the process I can’t...

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Denglish 64: My German Wife (Somehow) Reinvents the Cause of Sexually...

As I’ve explained in a previous post, I have dry skin and full lips for a dude. Sometimes they’ll chap even though I am diligent about applying lotion after every shower and every time I brush my...

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Denglish 65: My German Wife Attempts to Describe Menstrual Cramps

A smart, sensitive husband will never ask his wife if she is on her period. Asking this questions seems to evoke a surprising amount of anger from the fairer sex. I have been surprised by the sheer...

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Denglish 66: My German Wife Is Violently Proud of Her Salad Dressing

My wife and have fun in the kitchen, like when we wage pizza wars, eat fat or narrowly survive food poisoning. And we’re pretty healthy eaters, generally speaking. We make spinach salads almost every...

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Denglish 92: My German Wife Is A Huge Fan of HBO’s A Game of Thrones

My wife and I are huge nerds. She’s a philosophy nerd with a real nerd-boner for all of those fruitcakes comin’ outta ancient Greece. (She especially likes Plato, even though I unwaveringly refer to...

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Denglish 93: My German Wife Struggles to Organize A Traditional Swiss...

Back when we lived together in the States, my wife attempted to plan a “raclette” dinner party at our house. Raclette itself is a semi-hard cheese from Switzerland typically used for melting. (Let’s...

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Denglish 94: My German Wife Explains the Optimal Weather Conditions for...

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, you know I’ve got some vicious pollen allergies. Allergy attacks and sneezing fits are to be expected in the spring months, especially when you are...

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Denglish 95: My German Wife Gets Stuck in Traffic, Struggles Adorably to...

Germans hate travel delays. Hate them. This is because they belong to a culture in which efficiency is prized above all other aspects of society. In Germany, efficiency is king; a cold, unfeeling...

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Denglish 96: My German Wife Knows How to Pimp An American Pizza

If you are familiar with our blog, you know my German wife and I like to make pizzas on Sunday nights. But we don’t actually make pizzas, we ‘pimp‘ them: We buy cheap-as-balls frozen pizzas, then add...

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My German Wife Makes A Can of “Hot Pot” Soup and Leaves Me A Hilarious Note...

I guess Hot Pot soup originally comes from China, but they sell the hell out of it here in Germany. And let me tell you, it absolutely lives up to its name; it is hot, spicy, and, well… it fits …...

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American Expat Living in Germany Looks Back at Blogging in the Year 2013

2013 was a big year for The Wife and I. After living in the States together, we moved to Hannover, Germany! Now, I’ll be real honest with you: it was scary at times (there may have been tears). I...

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My German Wife Accidentally Adopts Two Monsters While Cleaning Our Office

You see that little green guy in the picture? He came from a Kinder Surprise egg. Kinder Surprises are chocolate eggs with plastic toys inside — most of which require assembly and utilize tiny moving...

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My German Wife Corrects My Limited and Highly Inappropriate Use of the German...

Learning German is hard. We all know that. But back when I was in my first German class in 2012, I remember learning a few basics about grammar and verb conjugation, and thinking to myself, “Hey, maybe...

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My German Wife Attempts to Reheat A Soft Boiled Egg in the Microwave

My German wife and I like to eat a few soft boiled eggs for brunch on the weekends, but sometimes we make too many, and one egg goes uneaten. Being the stingy nerds we are, we always save the remaining...

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